“What’s A He/Him Lesbian?” | 6 Questions About Butches Answered

A Glimpse into the World of Butch-Femme Culture

Butch, an identity that has endured for nearly a century, continues to baffle even those within the queer community. The vastness of this label and its ever-evolving nature make it challenging to define. In this article, we aim to shed light on some commonly asked questions about butches and provide guidance to those wondering if they identify as butch.

Decoding the Butch-Femme Dichotomy

The term “femme,” derived from the French word for woman, can function as both a noun and an adjective. While interpretations vary, it generally refers to someone who embodies femininity and is not immediately perceived as part of the sapphic community unless accompanied by a butch or femme partner.

The origin of the word “butch” remains ambiguous, much like “femme.” It can serve as both a noun and an adjective, describing individuals who embody masculinity in a non-conventional manner. Additionally, butch can be regarded as a gender or a role within a relationship.

Similar terms such as tomboy, boi, AG (aggressive), masculine of center, and stud exist, each with its own distinct connotations. However, they are not synonymous with “butch.”

Butch-femme culture gained popularity in the 1940s and 1950s in the United States when women were permitted to frequent bars unaccompanied by men, providing an environment for lesbian culture to flourish. During this era, butch-femme relationships were the norm, and any deviation from this dynamic was considered taboo.

1. Do butch-femme couples reinforce heteronormativity?

Not really. Butch-femme couples actually challenge heteronormativity. Butches defy traditional notions of femininity by embracing their masculinity, whereas femmes subvert heterosexuality by presenting themselves in a feminine manner, not necessarily for male approval.

However, rigid adherence to butch-femme roles, regardless of personal preferences, can mirror the oppressive aspects of heteronormativity. Choice is a vital aspect of all queer relationships.

2. What is B4B?

B4B is an abbreviation for “butch for butch,” indicating a butch individual’s interest in dating other butches. Some butches exclusively pursue femmes, while others have no preference or date individuals who do not identify with these labels.

In the past, butch-butch relationships were often considered taboo and faced derogatory slurs like “faggy butch.”

3. Is being butch exclusive to lesbians?

The answer is complicated. Butch is not solely limited to lesbians. There is no universal definition of “butch.” The term is often used as an adjective by gay men. As a gender identity, being butch is not determined by sexual orientation. However, within a heterosexual relationship, assuming a butch role may present challenges. It’s important to note that the concept of lesbianism and bisexuality as distinct orientations did not exist when the term “butch” first emerged.

4. Are butches cis or trans?

Again, it’s a complex question. There is no definitive answer as it depends on how individuals self-identify. Butches may identify as cis women, trans women, nonbinary, transmasculine, genderqueer, or any number of identities.

It is not uncommon for butches to undergo hormone therapy or procedures like top surgery associated with trans men while still identifying as butch. Similarly, a trans woman may choose to present as masculine even after medical transition. These identities often intertwine and overlap.

5. What is a he/him lesbian?

A he/him lesbian is a lesbian who uses he/him pronouns, either exclusively or in addition to other pronouns. Not all he/him lesbians are butch.

Understanding the concept of a lesbian using he/him pronouns can be perplexing. However, it’s essential to remember that pronouns indicate but do not define gender. Using the analogy of clothing, wearing a dress does not make someone a girl; similarly, using he/him pronouns can indicate a masculine presentation without signifying male gender.

He/him lesbians may use these pronouns in various contexts, such as in public, with a partner, or online.

6. Am I a butch, nonbinary, or a trans man?

This is a personal question that only you can answer. It’s important to recognize that these terms are not mutually exclusive. Many butches identify as nonbinary, and some trans men describe themselves as butch. Wanting to undergo medical transition does not disqualify someone from being a butch woman, and not all butches experience gender dysphoria.

If you’re unsure whether to adopt the label of “butch,” consider asking yourself the following questions:

  • Does calling yourself butch feel right to you?
  • Do you feel a connection with other butches you know or encounter online?
  • How would you react if a stranger assumed you were butch?
  • If you envision a future relationship, what role would you envision yourself taking?
  • Can you imagine yourself as an older butch?

The intricacies of butchness are far-reaching, and this article only offers a glimpse into this remarkable and historic identity. For further reading, we recommend “Stone Butch Blues” by Leslie Feinberg and “Female Masculinity” by Jack Halberstam, both considered seminal texts on the subject. Please note that these texts may contain triggering content.

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Also, check out our new podcast, “Never Would’ve Guest,” now available on all major podcast platforms! In the first episode, we explore the intersection of butchness and disability. Listen to Episode 1 and read the transcript [here](link to transcript).

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